There will always be thousands of rather smug and downright irritating individuals out there who seem for one reason or another to be impervious to alcohol, but for the rest of us, the hangover is the immense pain that will always follow alcohol-related pleasure. Let’s face it, if we woke up in any regular morning and had the same symptoms as a biblical hangover, we’d most likely call for immediate emergency medical attention, right?
Hangovers can be about as unpleasant as any affliction most of us will endure on a regular basis, therefore in light of a million and one tired, cliché and downright ineffective cures on the web today, here is a top ten that might just work… for some… maybe…
10 Fight Fire with Fire
Thousands of examples of ‘tried and tested’ hangover cures today involve the principle of fighting fire with fire, both in an external capacity. In many parts of Eastern Europe and of course across the Far East, consuming the spiciest soups and stews possible is sworn by as the perfect way of sweating out toxins from the inside. In a similar vein, Russians flock to skin-searing saunas to produce the same effect – in some instances being held at a rather difficult to endure 190°F.
9 Not Pickled Enough?
Cultures the world over have long believed that the perfect way of putting your pickled constitution back on track is to introduce a world of pickled goodies into the mix. Explanations abound but the key is said to lie in the way in w
hich pickled products encourage water drinking and provide electrolytes – both of which are essential for curing a hangover. From chomping pickled herring to guzzling down the pickle juice itself, those with a strong enough stomach could find their answer here.
8 Calorie Bomb
Everyone has their own perfect hangover meal or snack to help put things back on track, whether it happens to be a fried breakfast, massive greasy burger or the rest of the kebab/pizza from last night. However, what all examples have in common is a massive dose of fat, salt, sugar and calories – all of which a hung-over body is craving. As such there are no right or wrongs and it is instead a matter of personal tastes – the ancient Romans having been known to favor deep-fried canary.
Disgusting you say? No more so that the thousands of tons of MSG-rich fried poultry we quaff every day!
Yes, ‘any excuse’ will no doubt be the cry of millions, but the simple fact of the matter is that sex can be an excellent way of starting off the morning after just right – or maybe making the afternoon a little more bearable. The reason for this is nothing more complicated than the way in which sex is excellent exercise without even feeling like exercise, therefore serves as the perfect alternative to the hangover-job nobody ever actually goes through with.
6 Feeling like S***?
Please read carefully through all available information and side effects before considering trying this one out at home, but according to countless records and indeed the accounts of thousands today, cowboys used to remedy their over-indulgence with the whiskey by making tea with rabbit droppings. Needless to say, no real medical explanation here but the practice was so common it was in fact included in a scene from Brokeback Mountain – though never made it to the final cut.
5 Duck Embryo
In the spirit of “Each to his own” and all things open-minded, it seemed unfair to exclude the questionable hangover treat that is the Filipino duck embryo. Of course, nothing could be better for building strength than a calorie-rich dose of protein, but if the sight of an undercooked fried egg is lightly to see you reaching for the bucket, maybe best to avoid the half-formed dead chick-in-a-shell that is the ‘balut’ some in tropical climbs absolutely swear by.
4 Shock to the System
In the exact opposite vain to entry 10 on our list, millions find nothing more satisfying and indeed beneficial than braving cold temperatures until seconds before frostbite becomes and inevitability. This could be a cold shower, plunge into an icy pool or, as the good-old Irish used to do, burial in cold wet river sand. The theory basically goes along the lines that the cold and re-warmth ensures the body puts up a stronger fight and beats off those alco-bugs.
3 Quit Moaning
Easier said than done but arguably the best and most healthy cure in the world, quite moaning and belly-aching about your hangover, get out of bed and do something useful! Nothing spiritual or moral here, just the plain and simple fact that a hangover wallowed in will take twice as long to clear as a hangover battled through. Literally anything will do, just as long as you aren’t in bed acting like you’re the first person in the world to feel like the proverbial bear in this instance did not ‘go’ in the proverbial woods.
2 Hair of the Dog
A true British classic if ever there was one though not entirely without its following in other far corners of the world, millions every day swear by getting right back on the wagon by indulging in the fabled hair of the dog that bit them. From Bloody Maries to pints of ale to elaborate cocktails with anything and everything imaginable in, there is of course little doubt that further alcohol will make you feel better, at least in the interim.
On the other hand, from a purely medical point of view, indulging in further booze is not to cure the hangover, but instead to prolong it – albeit in a rather fuzzy head where you won’t mind too much.
In short therefore, not a cure in any way shape or form, but might take your mind off things for a few hours.
1 Preventative Medicine
And finally, admittedly a little less on the exciting side, prevention is of course far better than cure. That being said, never one to judge drinking habits or indeed advise you to stay on the sotf drinks all night…which of course you won’t…consider some of the hangover cures before indulging, rather than when they may prove too little too late.
Indulgent meals, plenty of exercise, a good sauna to sweat out the toxins and may even a chicken embryo could work wonders the next day…but in any case won’t see you feeling any worse at least.